Maquoketa

I'm home! I also happen to be more than ready to get back to good old Provo, but I'm still having a great time.

My family is adorable, by the way.

< My twin little brothers.

All of my other little siblings. >

So I think I had forgotten how completely awful the humidity in Iowa is... I'm slowly dying of heat. I went from a  place where the relative humidity averages about 15% to where it averages 80%. When I first got to Utah, I was so dry! But coming back to Iowa now, I just feel plain sticky. With moisture, and sweat. 

Also, I miss the completely blue skies of Provo. If it rains there, clouds quickly accumulate, then quickly disperse after the rain. And I love that. I love blue skies! Here in Maquoketa, however, there are always clouds, and it has rained every single day I've been home. :( 

But on to good things! 

Look at my gorgeous backyard... :)

I've gotten to see my best friend from high school, Shannon, a lot! It's been so fantastic! We went to Phantom of the Opera, and it was so good. Ahh! I love musicals. And Shannon.

I've also been able to read. :) It has been fabulous. I never read when I'm in school because I have so much reading to do in my textbooks. So I've been reading for fun. I've missed doing that. 

Am I allowed to throw in one more complaint? Of course I am, I can do anything I want. My mom has woken me up at like 7 in the morning every day! It's so completely awful. My first day here she woke me up at 6:30, 6 freaking 30! That happens to be 5:30 in Provo, which is the time I was still functioning in. Thanks mom. 

I really do love her, I just wish she would not wake me up so early, I like my sleep. 

Oh, and I'm super excited to celebrate Independence Day here. There are amazing fireworks about 20 minutes from here. Everyone who has ever seen them says they are the best fireworks they have ever seen. And they would be correct. They're amazing. 

I may not make it back to Provo if I contract some terrible disease from all the mosquito bites I've been getting. :-( Gross. 

Ooh ooh, look at my fantastic editing skills! Look at me with the wonderful greenness of Iowa behind me. 

Everyone is allowed some piousness right? If not, I may be in trouble. In all truthfulness I'm really just showing off my editing skills, as this picture was not super gorgeous to begin with, I just made it that way. Okay, before my ego runs rampant. I'm going to be done.

Y-Group

These last two days I was a Y-Group leader for Summer New Student Orientation. Me and my coleader Matt were in charge of 15 new freshman. It was so fun! I loved sharing my love for BYU with these new students. They were such great kids, I know that they will all do fantastic here.

It was kind of strange because I was in the exact same spot as them a year ago. It really put into perspective again how much I have changed. I remember being incredibly bored during convocation and the devotional they had for us. But getting to experience all these things again as a Y-Group leader I really enjoyed them. I realized how much I really love BYU and how grateful I am to be here. I also got to express my love of the Honor Code with the kids in my group, which I have already expressed on this blog but I really am so thankful for it. I also remember last year when I was a new student, that I wasn't able to talk to the people in my group very well. I realized how much I have changed in that area. I am so much more outgoing now.

I am so glad I volunteered to be a Y-Group leader, I hope that the kids in my group enjoyed themselves and that they will have a good time at BYU. I am so glad I took the time to do this before I went home this summer.

Rest

I just read all of my current roommate's blog which you can find here. I found it hilarious, probably because It is exactly how she talks, and I had heard many of these stories. I realized that I spend way too much of this blog talking about former roommates when I have such an awesome one now. So this lovely little paragraph is for you Laura Steffen. Just for you. :)

So remember that post that was me basically complaining that I wanted to go home? Well I decided to. And not just for a weekend, but I decided to not take classes summer and go home for about three weeks, and then just come back and hang out. This decision was really difficult for me, basically because I was really excited to be able to say I was a Junior by Fall semester, but I'm tired. I'm tired of going to school. I've been going for a year, and I learned that apparently I need breaks. I guess that isn't hard to imagine, most normal people do. So I will be leaving my dear little Provo this next Tuesday and I will be in Maquoketa for about 3 weeks! By the way that picture ^^ is of my tiny town of about 6,000 people. I'm excited, but I also think I might die of boredom because I won't have my car with me, so I won't be mobile.

Despite this setback, I have already made goals for myself to meet when I am at home.
First: I want to exercise! I am so bad at doing any form of exercise, and I don't know why. But I am going to go running, go swimming in our wonderful pool, and chase all my little siblings and hopefully this will somehow translate back to my life in Provo when I return.
Second: I am going to read. For fun. In high school I read a lot. More than any of my friends, or basically anyone I knew my age. But since I've gotten to college, I haven't read for fun at all. I have to read so many textbooks that for my free time I watch movies or tv on Hulu. It has really gotten bad. I miss books though so I am going to read.
Third: I am going to help my mom. In high school, as much as I would like to think I was helpful, I'm pretty sure I was a lazy little bum. So I will be doing the dishes without being asked and watch the kids without grumbling. Or at least I'm going to try.
Fourth: Okay, this one isn't really a goal, just for my own personal pleasure. I'm going to beat up my little sister Moriah. She turned 16 and I told her she wasn't allowed to, so I'm going to take it away from her. :) I miss her, and I hope that we can talk and become close again while I'm home. It has been hard to talk to her about stuff that I'm not present for, so hopefully I can be a better big sister and actually listen and be interested in the things she will tell me.

I'm really happy to go home. I was upset with myself for being weak and needing to, but now I'm just so excited to go home, that I don't even care. I am going to miss everybody here though. What am I going to do without my friends for 3 weeks? I'll get by I'm sure, with a little help from my family. (Ha, see what I did there? If not you can just ignore this parenthetical statement.)

Smiles

Today was wonderful!

I got to see my old roommates Kalee, Ashley and Morgan. I know that I mention former roommates on this blog probably way more than I should, but in my experience roommates become like your family. Aren't you always excited to be with your family?

Morgan and Ashley both live here in Provo too, so I am able to see them often. Even though I hadn't seen Ashley since she returned from her wonderful service trip to Peru. I loved seeing them though. Because I lived with them and have spent hours upon hours with them I never really get sick of being with them. Kalee, on the other hand, I haven't seen since Winter Semester ended two months ago. While I admit that two months really doesn't sound that long, Kalee was my room roommate. Meaning, I spent even more time with her than with the rest of my roommates. She was the one that I had had wonderful late night talks with as we were both falling asleep. On top of the attachment I feel for her already, she was the mother of our apartment that year. Which means she is the one that would tell us to do our chores, the one that basically everyone went to with their problems. Like with my own mother, I can tell just by the way she says my name what she is thinking. I miss Kalee so much.

 Today though, she was in Provo and was able to spend a few hours with us. We all met at J-Dawgs and spent forever there, just talking and laughing. It was great to catch up, it is so much more fun to talk to people in person than texting or calling them. After J-Dawgs we decided that ice-cream and a movie was needed. We grabbed my laptop and She's the Man from my apartment, went to the BYU Creamery and got a half gallon of Sparkle Sherbet (my favorite ice-cream), and went to a park. We laid on a blanket watching She's the Man (a movie that honestly all of us have memorized), and eating ice-cream. I haven't felt so happy in a really long time. Sadly Kalee had to leave, and therefore my heart had to break a little. I was so glad to be able to spend time with my former roommates and current great friends. I love them all so much!

Year

Tomorrow, I have been living by myself at college for an entire year. Thinking about it blows my mind. I feel like I've been here forever and for just a week all at the same time. Time is funny like that isn't it? There really is no way to describe this year so I will try to tell you a few very important aspects of this last year.

Roommates: I feel like I have been inexplicably blessed with fantastic roommates. They have been my best friends. I feel like I have learned that it really isn't the place that you live that matters, but who you are living with. I have had so many amazing times with my roommates. Like the stalker window, being put in the corner, being stalked by them dressed as men, laxatives, pretend fights, festival of colors, pure sarcasm, super sketch, cafe rio, coloring pictures. That isn't even close to an accurate representation of the times I've had with them, but I tried. I love all my roommates. Past and Present. I know that Heavenly Father blessed me with them, and I am so thankful. I would not be the person that I am today without them. Even if I only really knew and lived with them for a short time, they changed my life. And I'm better because of them.

Sisters: I have grown so much closer to my sisters since I've been out here. I went from seeing Rebekah and Hannah at Christmas and like one other week a year, to seeing them normally more than once a week. I am so glad that I have had them out here. They have taken such good care of me. They always tell me I don't eat right, or basically do anything right. But it is all out of love. I remember one time they even made a daily schedule for me. I stuck to it for less than a week, but I can't tell you how much it means to me that they tried. They're crazy and hilarious. I love them more than anything. I'm so glad that I have been able to get closer to them this last year.

Classes: It surprises me how easily a single class can alter the course of your life. But I have multiple examples of how they can. It is so easy to have one good or bad experience with a class and base everything you do after, on that experience. I have learned so much this last year. I have taken extremely difficult classes, and some really easy ones. I've also learned that your attitude is basically everything in class. If you are excited to be there, you will learn. If you're not excited, you will fall asleep, or just day dream the entire class, and not learn anything. I've loved some classes and hated others, but I know I have learned a great deal in all of them. I am so thankful for the opportunity I have to be here at BYU, and attend these classes, and learn what I am learning. There are so many people out there that don't get such an amazing opportunity. I have experienced it this year, but I hope in the next I am able to appreciate it better.

Friends: I have had many amazing friends this last year. When I got a new phone and had to switch all of my contacts I truly realized how many friends I had made here. Heavenly Father has put amazing people into my life and I am so thankful for them. From friends that just make boring classes more bearable, to ones that make life more bearable, I have been blessed.

Honor Code: I love the honor code. And right now I feel like a BYU/SA commercial, but I honestly do. I have heard so many stories from my friends at other colleges about parties, and their dorms being disgusting because some drunk guy threw up in the hallway. Or about having to stay outside their room because their roommate is "busy". I love that I don't have to deal with any of that here. I love that everyone has the same basic standards. I love the fact that there are prayers to start classes, that the spirit can be brought in to almost every subject. I love the experiences that it has given me.

As I said, I really can't explain how this year has been. The above only scratches the surface. I know that I have changed a lot this last year. Probably more than any other year in my life. As I said above, I am so thankful for the opportunity that I have had being here. If I stop and count everything it goes like this: 14 roommates, 3 apartments, 17 classes, 44 papers, 38 tests, 3 wards, 2 callings, 2 road trips, and 2 visits home. At the moment I can't think of anything else to count, but I'm sure there are a lot of other things that will surprise me. I can't say that I have always been happy this last year, but I've always ended up that way.

Yearning

I miss home.

That is something I thought I would never say when I left for college. I knew I would miss my family and friends. I also knew I would miss my physical house, but I didn't think I would miss my town, or being there. But I do. Especially now that it is June, I miss fireflies, I miss evening thunderstorms, I miss being able to get anywhere in town within 5 minutes. I miss the movie theatre that only can play three movies at a time, and almost always 2 of them are R-rated so I can't see them anyway. I miss having a drive-in. I miss how everyone has bonfires in the summer. I miss the humidity. I miss my brothers and sisters playing outside, and begging me to push them on the swings. I miss my Dad complaining about cleaning the pool. I miss going to the Cordova drag strip with my Dad. I miss riding in my Dad's Nova, and telling Moriah that I get to have it when we are old. I miss the grocery store in our town, Fareway. I miss how you go to Walmart when there is nothing better to do, which is most of the time. I miss how no matter how many times you clean off the counter in the kitchen in a day, at the end of the day it is messy and you have to clean it off again because Mom hates going to bed in a messy house. I miss seeing corn grow. I miss driving to Dubuque at least twice a week, normally a lot more. I miss how every few years the Maquoketa River floods and they have to close the bridge that goes to town, which means that it takes a lot longer to get anywhere. I miss having to drop my sister off at her friend's houses and then having to go pick her up, even though that isn't necessary anymore. I miss the community plays at Ohnward every year. Mostly I miss my family.

My mom offered to let me come home for a few days between Spring and Summer terms. As much as I would love to, I know that my parents don't really have the money to fly me home. And I signed up to be a Y-group leader for Summer new student orientation. But I want to go home so bad. I want to watch TV sitting next to my Dad. I want to hug my Mom. I want to beat up my little sister Moriah for growing up, I told her she couldn't. I want to see Lily's bright orange hair. I want to see Keilah and Naidah playing outside in the yard. I just want to see and hug Aaliyah and never let go, I miss her so much. I want to play with Asher and Eli, and marvel at how big they've gotten. I want to see Jediah and Isabellah because I know that they are no longer the babies I left behind.

I want to go home.