Alright, it's been 16 months since I last posted on this blog. Which should lead everyone to the conclusion that I suck at writing. Which also leads me to give a quick update on my life. I think it can be summed up in about one word: STATISTICS.
Seriously. I don't have a life outside of my major. Which is actually okay with me, because I freaking love Statistics. However, perhaps I should try to walk outside the Talmage building once in a while. I'm now officially a Senior. I've applied to a integrated Bachelor's/Master's program here at BYU, I am really terrified that I won't get in, but I suppose if I don't life will move on. I'm not sure when I got old enough to apply to Graduate programs, but apparently it happened. Also, I have exactly zero amount of men in my life, so again, my life is just entirely consumed with Statistics.
Also, as this blog is still called Calculating Happiness, I will talk about where I am in that part of my life. My life is pretty great. And most of the time I am pretty darn happy. Every once in a while I get frustrated with things that have happened in the past or I start getting super overwhelmed with all my responsibilities, but I am happy. And that's not to say that I'm not an ornery person about 75% of the time, but deep inside I really am pleased with not only my life, but also with who I am.
Part of this comes from my strengthened and deepened relationship with our wonderful Heavenly Father. He's pretty fantastic, and I've been trying to make an effort to get to know Him better. I've been able to recognize how much better everything in your life seems when you know that Heavenly Father is kind of orchestrating a large part of it. And that He loves us, and as long as we don't interfere, because we have free agency and all, our lives are going to work out great. Not to say we won't have trials, but is life really fun* if we don't have trials? I submit that it is not! *Fun here is a word that means interesting.
I have had so much happen in my life in the last 16 months, I don't think that I'm going to tell you about it. Maybe you will be able to infer from who I am now, maybe not. It's all good.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Monday, October 3, 2011
Constant Blasting
So I'm pretty sure this might not be well received, but this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. What is with our generations need to constantly have music blasting in our ears? Don't get me wrong, I love music. Truly. I think it is amazing the way that it can change the mood and much of the time it is pleasing to listen to. I love almost every genre. There are a few that I could do without, and of the ones that I like, some I like exponentially better than others. But I still enjoy them all. I have a rich musical background. I grew up with music in my home, we all learned how to play piano, some the violin, viola, oboe, and various other musical instruments. All of my sisters have beautiful singing voices, and a majority of us chose to develop that in choirs and through private lessons. I can see this being perceived kind that I only like classical music. But as embarrassed as I sometimes as I am to admit it, I love artists like Ke$ha, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars, even LMFAO. I am in no way a music snob. I will listen to almost any song and like it, and will not need to have known the song before it was popular.
Okay, so now that all of that is established Sometimes I need a break from music. I love to listen to it, but I've noticed when I am listening to music while trying to go about my daily life, I miss things. On campus a large portion of student's that I see have ear buds in while moving from one class to the next. I never do. And I'm glad. Because if I did I would miss some pretty awesome things; such as eavesdropping on other people's conversations, which, trust me, is always a good form of entertainment. But it isn't just things I can hear without the music, but things I am able to think while I'm not listening to it. While I believe that sometimes music can help inspire, I also have observed in my own life that it keeps me from thinking about things that might be important. In C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters, there is a part, that I won't even try to accurately quote, but it basically says that while we always think of the adversary putting thoughts into our head, sometimes he is most effective when keeping thoughts out. When I listen to music all the time, I tend to be thinking about the music. And I use the term thinking very loosely. Normally it just kind of zones me out, my mind is transported to a place where I just have to nod my head to the beat and murmur lyrics under my breath. Perhaps this is just me. I just know that I have very little higher cognitive thinking going on while I am endlessly pumping music into my ears.
I don't entirely know where I am going with all of this, but maybe if you read this you can try to go one day without the ipod. I don't mean no music at all, but just try to go without the constant noise that could be distracting you from thoughts you didn't know you were able to think. And of course, other people's conversations. :)
Okay, so now that all of that is established Sometimes I need a break from music. I love to listen to it, but I've noticed when I am listening to music while trying to go about my daily life, I miss things. On campus a large portion of student's that I see have ear buds in while moving from one class to the next. I never do. And I'm glad. Because if I did I would miss some pretty awesome things; such as eavesdropping on other people's conversations, which, trust me, is always a good form of entertainment. But it isn't just things I can hear without the music, but things I am able to think while I'm not listening to it. While I believe that sometimes music can help inspire, I also have observed in my own life that it keeps me from thinking about things that might be important. In C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters, there is a part, that I won't even try to accurately quote, but it basically says that while we always think of the adversary putting thoughts into our head, sometimes he is most effective when keeping thoughts out. When I listen to music all the time, I tend to be thinking about the music. And I use the term thinking very loosely. Normally it just kind of zones me out, my mind is transported to a place where I just have to nod my head to the beat and murmur lyrics under my breath. Perhaps this is just me. I just know that I have very little higher cognitive thinking going on while I am endlessly pumping music into my ears.
I don't entirely know where I am going with all of this, but maybe if you read this you can try to go one day without the ipod. I don't mean no music at all, but just try to go without the constant noise that could be distracting you from thoughts you didn't know you were able to think. And of course, other people's conversations. :)
Monday, September 5, 2011
Reasons why I really shouldn't be called an adult
Okay. So it has been exactly a month since my last blog post. Not from lack of things to say, just lack of wanting the time to blog them all.
First things first. I should not be allowed to have scissors. This last week I cut myself twice as I was playing with scissors. Literally playing with scissors. You think that I would be old enough to know not to play with scissors, right? Apparently not, as I did it twice. Also along with this, I realized how much I absolutely hate band-aids. They drive me nuts. I can't get used to them on my body so I pick at them. Then, when they get dirty I have to change them. So basically I am putting on a new band-aid every few hours. Finally I get to the point where I just can't stand them at all and take the stupid band-aid off and leave my wound open to get infected. So if I die of blood poisoning one day, know that it is because I can't stand band-aids. The only time I like them is when they are of the princess variety.
School started this last week. I am already so busy. Some of that is possibly related to the fact that I have my first real job. I am working 20 hours a week as both the BYU Independent Study Stats Tutor and a Stat 121 TA. I love the feeling of making money, but it makes for some really long days. Also my classes are already difficult. And I have been waking up at like 6 every morning. I'm so proud of myself. I don't wake up that early very well. So doing it for over a week is quite impressive if I do say so myself. Which I do.
I'm hungry. And I really need to go grocery shopping. But I don't want to get up and get something to eat, and if I don't want to get up to simply pour a bowl of cereal or make some ramen, imagine how adverse I am to the idea of leaving my apartment and going grocery shopping. I really need to learn to love to cook. I am truly afraid that it is a skill I will never have or enjoy. Whoever I marry is going to have to cook, because I can't do it. It stresses me out, like a lot.
Oh, soon I'm going to have to dedicate a post to my sister's wedding, but all the pictures aren't in, and I want to include pictures. And right now, I'm just too lazy to try to make everything sound and look cute, which a wedding post deserves.
First things first. I should not be allowed to have scissors. This last week I cut myself twice as I was playing with scissors. Literally playing with scissors. You think that I would be old enough to know not to play with scissors, right? Apparently not, as I did it twice. Also along with this, I realized how much I absolutely hate band-aids. They drive me nuts. I can't get used to them on my body so I pick at them. Then, when they get dirty I have to change them. So basically I am putting on a new band-aid every few hours. Finally I get to the point where I just can't stand them at all and take the stupid band-aid off and leave my wound open to get infected. So if I die of blood poisoning one day, know that it is because I can't stand band-aids. The only time I like them is when they are of the princess variety.
School started this last week. I am already so busy. Some of that is possibly related to the fact that I have my first real job. I am working 20 hours a week as both the BYU Independent Study Stats Tutor and a Stat 121 TA. I love the feeling of making money, but it makes for some really long days. Also my classes are already difficult. And I have been waking up at like 6 every morning. I'm so proud of myself. I don't wake up that early very well. So doing it for over a week is quite impressive if I do say so myself. Which I do.
I'm hungry. And I really need to go grocery shopping. But I don't want to get up and get something to eat, and if I don't want to get up to simply pour a bowl of cereal or make some ramen, imagine how adverse I am to the idea of leaving my apartment and going grocery shopping. I really need to learn to love to cook. I am truly afraid that it is a skill I will never have or enjoy. Whoever I marry is going to have to cook, because I can't do it. It stresses me out, like a lot.
Oh, soon I'm going to have to dedicate a post to my sister's wedding, but all the pictures aren't in, and I want to include pictures. And right now, I'm just too lazy to try to make everything sound and look cute, which a wedding post deserves.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Calculations
As you can obviously see, I named my blog Calculating Happiness. To me it was just a play on Math, Statistics and being happy, all things which are important to me. Since I named it that, however, it has been really interesting to see how people calculate happiness in their own lives. I've found a few things that have been interesting to me.
"Life is measured by your happiness, basically smiles minus frowns. You have a choice in this regard at every step. All people should be treated fairly, evenly and justly, to the greatest extent possible. Nothing is black and white. You don't have to win arguments to be happy, just know that your own opinions are good. Be a good person that others would like, golden rule. Be open, show your true self, don't hide behind facades. There is room for humor in everything."
I found this quote on someone's blog. I don't know who said it, but it is an interesting point. Especially the first part. "...basically smiles minus frowns..." I disagree with it somewhat. If they mean that literally, there are so many times in life when I smile when I am unhappy and so on. I'm sure they didn't mean it like that, but that's the way I interpret it.
I also found this survey called the Happy Planet Index. When I took it I got a score of 43.8, the average is a 46, and excellent is like 82 or something. I guess I need to work on some things there. However, it did say that my life expectancy was 85, which I think is pretty good.
Last night I found this which granted is a Cracked article which should normally be used mainly for humor purposes, but the last thing in this article is about how a team of psychologists came up with a formula to calculate your happiness.
"Life is measured by your happiness, basically smiles minus frowns. You have a choice in this regard at every step. All people should be treated fairly, evenly and justly, to the greatest extent possible. Nothing is black and white. You don't have to win arguments to be happy, just know that your own opinions are good. Be a good person that others would like, golden rule. Be open, show your true self, don't hide behind facades. There is room for humor in everything."
I found this quote on someone's blog. I don't know who said it, but it is an interesting point. Especially the first part. "...basically smiles minus frowns..." I disagree with it somewhat. If they mean that literally, there are so many times in life when I smile when I am unhappy and so on. I'm sure they didn't mean it like that, but that's the way I interpret it.
I also found this survey called the Happy Planet Index. When I took it I got a score of 43.8, the average is a 46, and excellent is like 82 or something. I guess I need to work on some things there. However, it did say that my life expectancy was 85, which I think is pretty good.
Last night I found this which granted is a Cracked article which should normally be used mainly for humor purposes, but the last thing in this article is about how a team of psychologists came up with a formula to calculate your happiness.
Happiness= P + (5xE) + (3xH)
P - Personal characteristics
E - Existence (health, financial, stability and friendships)
H - Higher order (self-esteem, confidence, ambitions and sense of humor)
You can find these numbers for yourself by answering the following questions on a scale of 1-10. The first two are for P, third of E, and fourth for H.
1. Are you outgoing, energetic, flexible and open to change?
2. Do you have a positive outlook, bounce back quickly from setbacks and feel that you are in control of your life?
3. Are your basic life needs met, in relation to personal health, finance, safety, freedom of choice and sense of community?
4. Can you call on the support of people close to you, immerse yourself in what you are doing, meet your expectations and engage in activities that give you a sense of purpose?
Now just put your answers into the formula and you'll get a rating out of 100. Over 80 is really happy, under 20 is basically very depressed. I got a 55.5, which again I wish it was better, but it isn't like it's absolutely terrible.
All of these different ways to calculate your own happiness are interesting, but I think Sherri Dew put into words best, how we are to become happy.
"It is not possible to sin enough to be happy. It isn't possible to buy enough to be happy, or to entertain or indulge or pamper ourselves enough to be happy. It is not possible to hide enough or run far enough away from trials and troubles to be happy. Happiness and joy come only when we are living up to who we are."
I know that that is true, I know that when I feel happy it is because I have done that which is living up to who I am. I know that is how I will find permanent happiness someday. When I will always live up to who I am.
E - Existence (health, financial, stability and friendships)
H - Higher order (self-esteem, confidence, ambitions and sense of humor)
You can find these numbers for yourself by answering the following questions on a scale of 1-10. The first two are for P, third of E, and fourth for H.
1. Are you outgoing, energetic, flexible and open to change?
2. Do you have a positive outlook, bounce back quickly from setbacks and feel that you are in control of your life?
3. Are your basic life needs met, in relation to personal health, finance, safety, freedom of choice and sense of community?
4. Can you call on the support of people close to you, immerse yourself in what you are doing, meet your expectations and engage in activities that give you a sense of purpose?
Now just put your answers into the formula and you'll get a rating out of 100. Over 80 is really happy, under 20 is basically very depressed. I got a 55.5, which again I wish it was better, but it isn't like it's absolutely terrible.
All of these different ways to calculate your own happiness are interesting, but I think Sherri Dew put into words best, how we are to become happy.
"It is not possible to sin enough to be happy. It isn't possible to buy enough to be happy, or to entertain or indulge or pamper ourselves enough to be happy. It is not possible to hide enough or run far enough away from trials and troubles to be happy. Happiness and joy come only when we are living up to who we are."
I know that that is true, I know that when I feel happy it is because I have done that which is living up to who I am. I know that is how I will find permanent happiness someday. When I will always live up to who I am.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
It's the last day of July. Summer is basically over. School starts again in less than a month. What do I have to show for my summer? Well... I have become more and more acquainted with my bed. I've had a terrible time trying to wake up, mostly because I have nothing to do, so I have zero motivation. I haven't read any books like my plan, I haven't done any service unless you count my sisterly duties to help Hannah with her wedding. Basically I've done nothing, and I hate that I haven't. I know that I really don't have very long left. I have 2 weeks before I go home for Hannah and Danny's wedding. But in those two weeks I am going to attempt, to do better. I'm going to try to wake up before 11 everyday. I would prefer if it was at least 9. I don't know what I'm going to do when school starts and I'm so used to sleeping in. Having a little motivation to do something is my goal for the next two weeks. Hopefully I have the motivation to fulfill it.
On a random note, I found this quote today, and basically I just really like it.
"Education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire." - William Butler Yeats
On a random note, I found this quote today, and basically I just really like it.
"Education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire." - William Butler Yeats
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Reasons
There are a whole bunch of little things swirling around my mind, things that I'm really thankful for right now. Reasons that I'm happy.
This first one is a little random. I happen to maybe, just slightly, be in love with David Archuleta. I have since he was on American Idol, but it has been renewed lately. His music makes me happy. No matter what mood I am in, I am always in the mood to listen to a little David. Especially lately. Plus look at his smile, how can you not be happy when you see that?
Anyway, I just think he is super adorable and sweet and it is my goal someday to meet him. And as he does things at BYU every once in a while it shouldn't be too hard. The only problem is that I never seem to find out about them until after. Anyway, his most recent album The Other Side of Down is full of amazing songs. I can't decide which one is my favorite, but I love My Kind of Perfect and Falling Stars.
Another thing that makes me happy is my friends. On Wednesday one of my old neighbors, with whom we were super close, was in Provo for a few hours and came by to visit. We got together with my old roommates Morgan and Ashley and it was so great to be together again. I was super sad when Shelley had to leave but I know that Fall semester starts in like a month so it's okay. I can't wait when all of my Fall/Winter roommates and our neighbors Sara, Jen, and Shelley can all hang out like old times.
Last summer, in my first term, I made this really amazing friend Michael Wray. He was always there for me, and I still don't know why. He is just a really amazing guy. When I am stressed or depressed I have this desire to leave, just leave wherever I am until I'm okay again. Sometimes I just take a drive, but other times the desire to leave is stronger and I can't really get rid of it no matter where I go. Michael saw me leaving one night last summer, we were already sort of friends at that time, and asked me where I was going. I honestly didn't know and I told him so. He made me come talk to him instead, and that continued throughout that Summer term and into Fall semester. Whenever I needed to leave, I went and talked to Michael instead. And he always listened. I have no idea why, we had a class together and we were in the same ward, but there wasn't really any reason for him to be so nice to me, but he was, because he is just an amazing person. He helped me with so many things, and we had a lot of fun together. Anyway, he has been on a mission in the Denver, Colorado North mission since late January. When I want to run away and leave now, sometimes I still take that drive to nowhere, but I also sit down and write him a letter. Even though most of the time I don't actually tell him what is stressing me out (he has enough to deal with), just knowing that he will read it and care makes me feel better. However, he is terrible at writing back, but I forgive him for that.
I don't think I would be making it through this summer without my lovely roommate Laura. She's such a fun person to be around. We have been slightly anti-social this summer and not really made any new friends so most nights we just sit in our apartment on our computers. But we talk a lot in all of this. And we go to get froyo together when we feel a need for sweets. She makes me laugh because she honestly has more clothes than anyone else I've ever met. She never stops buying them! Granted, the majority of them she gets from second hand stores and saves a lot of money, but she honestly doesn't have space to contain them all. They spill over from her half of the closet and her drawers onto shelves right outside our room. She also loves them, she probably tries on 4 different outfits before she leaves in the morning, all of which are adorable, and then when she comes home from work she will probably try on another 4 or so throughout the course of the evening. She is probably super embarrassed reading this, but I find it endearing. I love all of her outfits, and her clothes. They're fun. Also when my sister Moriah was in town she was really helpful in my attempts to entertain her. We went to a blog reading thingy that Stephanie Nielson read at and I pushed her to meet her, because basically nienie is her hero. It was really inspiring, and made me think about motherhood in a little more favorable light, (sometimes I have issues with it, but that's a post for another day). Anyway, I'm so glad that I have been her roommate this Summer. It's been fabulous.
This first one is a little random. I happen to maybe, just slightly, be in love with David Archuleta. I have since he was on American Idol, but it has been renewed lately. His music makes me happy. No matter what mood I am in, I am always in the mood to listen to a little David. Especially lately. Plus look at his smile, how can you not be happy when you see that?
Another thing that makes me happy is my friends. On Wednesday one of my old neighbors, with whom we were super close, was in Provo for a few hours and came by to visit. We got together with my old roommates Morgan and Ashley and it was so great to be together again. I was super sad when Shelley had to leave but I know that Fall semester starts in like a month so it's okay. I can't wait when all of my Fall/Winter roommates and our neighbors Sara, Jen, and Shelley can all hang out like old times.
Last summer, in my first term, I made this really amazing friend Michael Wray. He was always there for me, and I still don't know why. He is just a really amazing guy. When I am stressed or depressed I have this desire to leave, just leave wherever I am until I'm okay again. Sometimes I just take a drive, but other times the desire to leave is stronger and I can't really get rid of it no matter where I go. Michael saw me leaving one night last summer, we were already sort of friends at that time, and asked me where I was going. I honestly didn't know and I told him so. He made me come talk to him instead, and that continued throughout that Summer term and into Fall semester. Whenever I needed to leave, I went and talked to Michael instead. And he always listened. I have no idea why, we had a class together and we were in the same ward, but there wasn't really any reason for him to be so nice to me, but he was, because he is just an amazing person. He helped me with so many things, and we had a lot of fun together. Anyway, he has been on a mission in the Denver, Colorado North mission since late January. When I want to run away and leave now, sometimes I still take that drive to nowhere, but I also sit down and write him a letter. Even though most of the time I don't actually tell him what is stressing me out (he has enough to deal with), just knowing that he will read it and care makes me feel better. However, he is terrible at writing back, but I forgive him for that.
I don't think I would be making it through this summer without my lovely roommate Laura. She's such a fun person to be around. We have been slightly anti-social this summer and not really made any new friends so most nights we just sit in our apartment on our computers. But we talk a lot in all of this. And we go to get froyo together when we feel a need for sweets. She makes me laugh because she honestly has more clothes than anyone else I've ever met. She never stops buying them! Granted, the majority of them she gets from second hand stores and saves a lot of money, but she honestly doesn't have space to contain them all. They spill over from her half of the closet and her drawers onto shelves right outside our room. She also loves them, she probably tries on 4 different outfits before she leaves in the morning, all of which are adorable, and then when she comes home from work she will probably try on another 4 or so throughout the course of the evening. She is probably super embarrassed reading this, but I find it endearing. I love all of her outfits, and her clothes. They're fun. Also when my sister Moriah was in town she was really helpful in my attempts to entertain her. We went to a blog reading thingy that Stephanie Nielson read at and I pushed her to meet her, because basically nienie is her hero. It was really inspiring, and made me think about motherhood in a little more favorable light, (sometimes I have issues with it, but that's a post for another day). Anyway, I'm so glad that I have been her roommate this Summer. It's been fabulous.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Temples
Today though, I went to the temple, it was wonderful. My visiting teachers came over on Sunday and at the end of the lesson they asked me if I wanted to go to the temple with them sometime this week, so we planned it for today. I'm so glad that they asked me, because I really needed to go. I'm so glad I did. There is something about the temple that just makes you feel super calm about life, because you know that the Lord is directing you. That is my opinion anyway. So right now I just feel quite okay about everything that is going on.
It was really weird for me to go to a temple other than Nauvoo, I never realized how huge the Nauvoo temple's baptistry is compared to other temples. We went to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple because Provo is closed for cleaning until next week sometime, it was so pretty. I know that my roommate Laura and I are planning on going to Provo as soon as it opens up again, and I hope that I can continue to remember to take advantage of having the temple so close while I can. I hope I can go at least once every 3 weeks, I can do that! There is a temple literally 5 minutes away. I can take out a few hours of my day and go so I can grow closer to my Heavenly Father and feel the love that He has for me.
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